Prompting Part XXXIV

[sherlockbbc_fic]

S3 SPOILER POLICY
THE MEME NEEDS ARCHIVISTS!

GUIDELINES

• Anon posting is not required, but most definitely allowed. If you think you recognise an anon, keep it to yourself and don’t out them. IP tracking is off, and will remain that way.


• Multiple fills are encouraged, and all kinds of fills are accepted! Fic, art, vids, cosplay, interpretive dance — whatever. Go wild! :D


• Don’t reprompt until TWO parts after the last posting of the prompt.


• RPF (real person fic, i.e. fic involving the actors themselves) is not supported at this meme.


• Concrit is welcome, but kinkshaming, hijacking, and flaming are not tolerated.

THE FILLED PROMPTS POST
When you fill a prompt, please use the appropriate Filled Prompts Post to archive your fill (there are instructions on the actual post).

If the part you wanted isn't up yet, just wait and one of the archivists will get to it, but please, once it is up, make sure you post your fills there according to the guidelines. DO NOT skip out on doing this because it seems like too much effort. If you want your fill to make it to the Delicious archive, that’s the way to do it.

Do not be afraid to ask questions about how it works if you are confused! The mods will be happy to explain.

WARNINGS/OFFENSIVE WORDING IN PROMPTS
Please consider warning for prompts that may trigger people (and also for fills, because some people read in flat view) and phrasing prompts in a manner that strives to be respectful.

Things which you might want to consider warning for include: Rape/Non-Con, Death, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Underage Relationships, among others.

That being said, this is a kink meme. As such, there will be prompts that could offend you in a number of different ways. Not every prompt will have a trigger warning, and not every prompt will rub you the right way. If you have an issue with a specific prompt, feel free to bring it up in a discussion that takes place off the meme. However, flaming will not be tolerated regardless of origin.

You are highly encouraged to scroll past any prompt that you dislike.

Remember: be civil, be friendly, but don’t be shy!

THINGS THAT MAKE BROWSING THE MEME EASIER FOR EVERYONE
Please nest your fills. Doing so will make it easier for archivists to save your fills to the Delicious archive. Using subject lines will also help people reading the meme in flatview keep track of what’s happening. Finally, titling your fills (even if it’s something silly) will be helpful to those tracking a lot of prompts or scrolling through the meme.

PROMPT FREEZES
Depending on the rate of activity, there may or may not be a prompt freeze when a part reaches 2000 and 4500 comments. However, there will be one when it reaches 7000. After the 7000 comments freeze, a new part will be posted, and all prompting should happen on the new part.

CONTACTING MODS
Your mods for this meme are ellie_hell, charname, anonspock and anonbach. If you have any questions, concerns, comments about anything at all on the meme feel free to send a PM or contact us via the Page-A-Mod post.

MEME LINKS
Pinboard Archive - Delicious Archive - Guide to the Archive
Filled Prompts Posts: Parts 1-23 - Parts 24+ - Spoiler Free
The Glorious FAQ - Page-A-Mod

Flat View of This Page - Newest Page in Flatview - Newest Page of the Meme

Love Post - Chatter Post - Searching Post
Concrit Post - Story Announcement Post - Orphan Post
Spoiler Free Prompt Post - Overflow Post

Links to previous prompting parts

OTHER LINKS AND AFFILIATES
sherlock_rant: A place to rant about or discuss anything with few to no restrictions.
sherlock_rpf: This is a kinkmeme for RPF about the show.
sherlockcrit: A multi-fandom betaing/concrit community, with a focus on BBC Sherlock.
sherlockbbc: A community dedicated to the BBC adaptation of Sherlock Holmes.
Useful resources for Sherlock and LiveJournal.
Sherlock screencaps.

NOTICE: All links on the meme are now being screened because of spambot issues. When you submit a comment containing a link, it will be marked as spam. Please don't worry, the mods will unscreen it as soon as they can.

Comments

http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/rule-34

[(Anonymous)]

John is alerted to the fact that the contents of his blog have become fodder for rule 34.

Tragically, the contents of Sherlock's blog have not become fodder for rule 34. If he wants anyone to write Perique Ash/Criollo Ash porn, he'll have to do it himself.

Re: http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/rule-34

[(Anonymous)]

Haha, excellent!

Reprompt. Sherlock/pseudo-de-aged!John

[(Anonymous)]

Original posting of prompt here. (http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/21231.html?thread=125004783#t125004783)

After a couple of months with few paying cases, Sherlock and John are financially tapped out, and now thugs are after John for gambling debts and/or after Sherlock for old drug debts. Desperate times call for desperate measures. When Sherlock stumbles across a case involving a group of men preying on teen-aged boys, he has a brilliant idea. John's small and, in spite of the greying hair, quite boyish looking. Sherlock realises that using his own make-up and costuming skills--and the judicious application of a razor to unnecessary body hair--he'd have no trouble making it possible for John to pass as a young teen. With Sherlock posing as a pederast, and using John as bait, our boys set out to infiltrate the sex ring. Things get really interesting when Sherlock realises he's horribly attracted to boy!John, and John realises he really likes the risk, danger, and massive amounts of sex involved in the enterprise. Being a fetish object for an increasingly lust-addled Sherlock is just icing on the cake.


tl;dr version of prompt. In pursuit of justice, using costumes, make-up, and a bit of shaving, Sherlock creates teen-aged!John and whores him out.

Re: Reprompt. Sherlock/pseudo-de-aged!John

[(Anonymous)]

I second this- this is one of those things I'd love to write if I thought I could do it justice. Love the prompt!

Teenlock

[(Anonymous)]

Teenlock John and Sherlock smoking and getting high in their dorm room. Cue lots of giggling and then sex happens (somehow) preferably top!john if it gets to that

Sunday

[(Anonymous)]

1/3
A.N. this turned out longer than it was meant to be. So off they go to get the weed. Cue hot nerdy/hipster Sherlock when there isn't really need for one.

Sunday morning, seven o’clock, finds Sherlock out of bed and dressed. Sherlock in a ratty wool - cardigan? - that hangs around his thighs, a tight shirt, tight pants, teased hair and thick-rimmed glasses shakes John awake less than five minutes later.
“John. John, its Sunday.”
John sighs, eyes still tight, rebelliously shut, “I know. Let me sleep.”
There’s a pause.
And then the entire weight of Sherlock’s body slams into John’s sleepy form.
“Fuck off,” says John, shout lost in the slam of air leaving his lungs. He fights his way out from under the press of Sherlock’s body through the covers, and once out, pins Sherlock to the bed, squirming wrists trapped under his palms. Its only then that he gets a good look at him.
“What the hell are you wearing?”
Sherlock peers down at himself like he isn’t quite sure.
“It’s from Barry Sherwood’s drawers. Thought I’d try it,” he squirms his nose in an attempt to get the glasses, which have been slightly jolted in the fall, back in a comfortable position on his nose.
John relaxes his hold on the pale wrists a little and leans down to nudge the frames back in place with his own nose, and then press a kiss to Sherlock’s lips.
“You look fit in everything you ever wear and its unfair.”
Sherlock makes a face, “Yes, yes, you poor, ugly thing. Go brush your teeth.”
John breathes out long and slow all over Sherlock’s face in retaliation. “I’ll have you know, that Alice Taylor thinks I’m fit. I bet she would kiss me if I had morning breath.”
“No, she would give you a blowjob, but that’s it. Now go brush your teeth, we’re out of weed.”
John slumps a little, but rolls out of bed and meanders to the far side of the dorm to grab his toothbrush. He roots around for a moment, just in a pair of low slung sweats, dark grey against the tan of his skin. “You’ve got to stop using my toothpaste, where did you put it?”
“Under your French folder,” Sherlock calls over his shoulder, searching through the mess of clothes and books across the floor and in the pile of stuff that props open the lazy creak of John’s cupboard door. He lingers appreciatively, eyes flicking over the roll of muscles as John picks up a few stray shirts and tosses them over his chair.
When John gets back, mouth minted, there is a pile of clothes on his bed. Sherlock is counting out money and shoving it in the pocket of his tight grey jeans. John throws on the pair of slightly looser jeans, the white T-shirt, and the loose army jacket. He tugs at the hem a little, “This smells heavily of cologne.”
Sherlock glances up, and throws John’s wallet at its owner’s chest.
“Come on.”
He tugs open the door and steps through. John follows.
“We both look really gay.”
“Well that’s handy as we are both very gay.”
A few boys lounge on couches in the hallway, half asleep, hair stuck up by hungover nights. “And, as it happens, so is our dealer.”
Sherlock holds open the front door for John and follows him out, “And I’m nearly out of pocket money.”
“Ah.”
“Yes. You wouldn’t be opposed to some light making out in front of a strange man, would you, John?”
“Isn’t that a bit like whoring?” questions John. They duck their heads as they pass by their housemaster’s extension, under the open window.
Sherlock makes a non-committal noise, and John shrugs.

Bodyswap

[(Anonymous)]

Bascially like Freaky Friday. Sherlock and Mary have a tempestuous relationship, with lots of jealousy over who John loves best. One day they have a massive fight. Next day they wake up in the other's body. They have to navigate the day in the other's shoes.

Any pairings fine. If you want to go for the angsty angle maybe Sherlock is unrequitedly in love with John, and this helps him work through his feelings.

Re: Bodyswap

[(Anonymous)]

Absolutely seconded! I love bodyswap fics!

Monsterlock

[taro-mochi.livejournal.com]

There's a few Monsterlock fics out there where Sherlock is monster under the bed and John is the sweet kid who befriends him. I'd like to see those roles reversed please.

Re: Monsterlock

[(Anonymous)]

I'm on this. You don't mind if John is a demon type of monster do you?

Anterograde amnesia

[taro-mochi.livejournal.com]

Anterograde amnesia: the loss of the ability to create new memories. According to Wikipedia (yes, I know, not a reliable source) this leads to a partial or complete inability to recall the recent past, while long-term memories from before the event remain intact. It has several causes, including traumatic brain injury, certain types of drugs known to have powerful amnesic effects, shock, and emotional disorder.

So, I want one of the series' characters to suffer from this. Maybe John, who couldn't cope with watching his best friend commit suicide, maybe Sherlock somehow gets it via an accident/while chasing criminals/Reichenbach. Just make it hurt.

Bonus: if doing Sherlock or John, say they were in a relationship before one of them suffered this type of amnesia. Does the relationship continue after? How? Through diaries? Especially if this relationship is still rather new, what would it be like not to remember your firsts with your partner?

Yes, I know, extremely angsty prompt.

1/2

[cactuswren.livejournal.com]

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The room was spare, as John's bedroom at 221b had been. A single narrow bed, a desk, a couple of chairs. A small refrigerator, an electric kettle on the sideboard. A laptop computer, but no television. A small stereo and a stack of CDs. A dozen or so books, mostly illustrated. A stack of worn magazines.

(“Cerebral accident,” Mycroft had said. “Intracranial bleeding, subsequent to head trauma.”

(“What trauma?” Sherlock demanded. “What happened to him?”

(And Mycroft had spoken bluntly. “It happened on the way back from your grave. But the original injury was when he was struck by a bicycle.”)

There were a few pictures. One wall was empty, and directly on the wallpaper was scrawled, large and prominent, in John's own hand:

JOHN:
You had a head injury.
You have memory issues.
Staying here until they clear up.
Mycroft is your host.
Be POLITE to him.

John was seated at the table, chuckling at something in a magazine, with his back to the door. He wasn't aware of Sherlock's presence, until Sherlock murmured his name.

He started violently, rising and turning to the door in a single move. His chair clattered to the floor. “What the hell – ” he began, and then, quickly, even before he'd seen who was there, “ – Sorry. Sorry. You startled me, you sounded like someone I – ” His eyes met Sherlock's face.

He froze.

“John,” Sherlock said again.

“N-no.” John squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them. “No. No. This isn't – ” He glanced back and forth rapidly, over and over, between Sherlock's face and the inscription on the wall. “Oh, god. Don't. You – you died. Don't be here, you're not here, I'm, you're a lie, you're not – ”

He closed his eyes again, took a shaking breath. “Right.” When he opened them again, he didn't look at Sherlock. He turned away, hurrying towards the ensuite bathroom.

He picked up the glass tumbler from the sink and methodically smashed it on the floor. With care, he selected the largest shard from the scatter of broken glass. As Sherlock watched in horror, he raised it to his wrist.

“John – no!” Sherlock lunged forward, seized John's hands. He felt the glass slice into his fingers as he wrenched the shard away. He dropped it into the sink. “Don't, John, you don't have to do that – ”

“I do.” John's voice was unnaturally calm. “I've got a brain injury, you see, and now I've gone mad. You're here, but you're dead. I'm crazy, and I can't live that way. It's all right. Just let me.” He bent to pick up another fragment of glass.

“I'm not.” Sherlock held John's hands in his own bleeding ones. “I didn't die, John, I faked it. I lied. Perhaps you'll forgive me, or not. But it's true. I didn't die. I'm here and I'm alive.”

“But … how?” John demanded. “How? You … faked it? I just came from your grave, just a little while ago, and your hair's all grey – ”

“I'll tell you.” He led John to sit at the desk, took another chair himself. Quickly he explained about the gunmen, about Moriarty's threats, about the rubber ball in his armpit so no pulse could be felt. “It was a lie. I'm sorry.”

Past Abuse, JohnLock hurt/comfort

[(Anonymous)]

TW: Abuse, probable underage depending on the filler

John doesn't think much about his childhood, but who does? And when he does, he figures it was pretty normal.

When he and Sherlock start a relationship, though, even though Sherlock doesn't much understand a lot of social norms, he can tell something's wrong. Maybe it's the scars on John's body that John can't explain. Maybe it's the way he seems weirdly skittish about actually having sex, even though he never refuses. (Please do not have Sherlock going ahead with having sex despite John's nervous/unenthusiastic body language.) It's a mystery, and besides that, someone hurt John. Sherlock intends to find out.

Angst, hurt/comfort, Sherlock poking his nose into John's past, and going slow and careful with their relationship, please!

Bonuses:

- John hardly remembers anything from before he turned 18, but thinks this is normal

- Sarah was always confused about why John never made a move when they were together, despite the times when he stayed over

- A story behind why he keeps insisting he's not gay, even though Sherlock can easily tell that John's attracted to men

Re: Past Abuse, JohnLock hurt/comfort

[(Anonymous)]

Seconding. I read something about this, where people who suffered abuse/traumatic events didn't remember it, or 'disassociated' from themselves.

Sherlock/Marvel cross over: Sherlock has the powers of the Scarlet witch

[(Anonymous)]

Not sure if this has been done before.

The reason why Mycroft spies on his brother so much, why Sherlock is easily bored, and why Jim is so interested in Sherlock? Its because he has the power to warp realities and use hex magic.

Pairings don't matter nor the rating as long as it shows how London deals with a consulting detective with this much power. Maybe John is the trigger for Sherlock's control? Or something.

Sherlock and co. all having mutant powers.

Secretary crossover

[(Anonymous)]

With Mycroft as Mr Grey and John (or Lestrade, but my first choice is John) as Lee Holloway

Past Lestrade/John, Lestrade/Mycroft, John/Sherlock, Slight AU

[sheneya.livejournal.com]

John and Lestrade knew each other before they met the Holmes brothers.

They both used to work in the same strip club to pay for expenses not covered by their scholarships.

They were even lovers for a while, before deciding they worked better as friends.

Now the two friends are helping each other to snag the Holmes Brother of their dreams.

Which may take a while, because for all their intellect, the Holmes boys are notoriously thick when it comes to matters of the heart.

Fill (quick and sort of cracky): Catching Holmes Brothers 1/3

[elephantprints.livejournal.com]

“John Watson? It is! John Watson, as I live and breathe, how’ve you been, mate?” Lestrade had stopped rather abruptly in his description of the latest serial suicide when he spotted Sherlock’s companion.

“Greg?” John replied, sounding equally surprised and pleased. He limped over to Lestrade and they exchanged a brief, friendly kiss. Sherlock stared at them in shock.

“I’ve been, well,” John gestured to his cane. “I’ve seen better days.”

Lestrade snorted. “I can’t imagine a little thing like being shot would slow you down too much. I can’t believe it’s you, what are the odds?”

“Look at you though,” John said, sounding rather proud. “Detective Inspector Lestrade. Congratulations mate.”

“Oh, no,” Lestrade said modestly. “I’ve been sitting at home giving out parking tickets while you’ve been overseas getting shot at for Queen and Country.”

“I take it you two know each other, then?” Sherlock said, still sounding slightly dazed.

“Yeah, we worked together while we were going through university,” Lestrade explained. “But we lost contact after John went in the army.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” John said awkwardly.

“No, it’s fine,” Lestrade. “We just drifted apart. It happens. And here we are again.”

“And you... dated?” Sherlock confirmed.

John grinned fondly at Lestrade. “Yeah, for a time. Decided we were better off as friends.”

“The sex was phenomenal though,” Lestrade said, enjoying the way Sherlock’s features froze. John laughed and punched Lestrade on the arm.

*

Lestrade and John met up for a beer a few nights after the serial suicide case.

“So what’s going on with you now?” John asked. “Sherlock said you’re married?”

“Mm,” Lestrade said. “Not so much. Getting a divorce soon.”

“That’s a shame,” John said sympathetically.

“And you? Anyone special in your life?”

“Nah,” John said. “Never felt right dating someone while I was in the army.”

“Ah well, you’re out now,” Lestrade said. “We’ll have to go on the pull together one day.”

*

Between beer, coffee, sandwiches and tea, John and Lestrade managed to see quite a bit of each other outside of work. Both were surprised and delighted to find that the spark that had made them such good friends in their youth was still there, and they easily fell back into each other’s lives.


“Do you ever look at Sherlock and feel the urge to just push him against the wall and kiss him until he shuts up?” John said after a long day cooped up with Sherlock. Lestrade laughed.

“No, I can honestly say I’ve never had that urge,” Lestrade said.

“Just me then, thought as much.”

*

During the next case Lestrade had to call Sherlock in for, he kept a close eye on Sherlock and John’s interactions, pleased for his friend when he saw the way Sherlock lit up in response to John’s praise, and stood closely to him, touching him freely, if quite innocently. Lestrade decided to see if he could direct the detective’s thoughts somewhere a little more lascivious.

“They’re a bit different from the ones we used to wear, eh?” Lestrade said, gesturing to one of the police constable’s uniform. John chuckled.

“I’ll bet,” John said. “They certainly look sturdier.”

“You two were never in the police service together,” Sherlock said, frowning, upset as he always was when presented with new information that disagreed with his previous findings.

“No,” Lestrade said casually. “We used to work in a strip club. It’s where we met.”

Sherlock stiffened, glancing frantically between Lestrade and John, clearly struggling to process this new information.

“We’d do themed shows,” Lestrade added helpfully. “Police, fireman, navy, that sort of thing.”

“Mm, bit of a surprise the first time I wore my uniform and discovered it took more than five seconds to get out of,” John said. “I’d never appreciated velcro more.”

“Still, I don’t miss finding glitter everywhere,” Lestrade said.

“And that oil could be a bitch to get out of underwear,” John said.

Sherlock continued to stare blankly at John, mouth slightly open, as John and Lestrade turned back to discussing the case.

*

Sherlock/Lestrade undercover as a married couple

[(Anonymous)]

Apologies, because I know there's a prompt for this back in part... 10 to 25? but I can't find the thread again. If anyone does, I'll be glad for a link. I'm about certain it still hasn't been filled.

Anyway, what's on the tin. Fandom has plenty of fics where John and Sherlock have to get married/play a married couple for a case, and discover their true feelings in the process. Can I have the same with our lovely DI and Sherlock, please?

Re:Fill: Sherlock/Lestrade undercover as a married couple

[(Anonymous)]

Full prompt: Sherlock/Lestrade undercover as a married couple
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1002353

Can I link it to AO3? I don't even know. I'm so new at this. Ohz wellz.
Anyway, not sure if this is exactly what you're looking for but I tried. :)

Sherlock/Dollhouse, non-con

[(Anonymous)]

After defeating & capturing Sherlock, Moriarty has him placed in his own personal dollhouse (b/c Moriarty would be all over that kind of technology). Moriarty then plays with his doll. I'd live to see Moriarty create mulitple sceneros but will take what I can get.

Pretend marriage for Sherlock and Molly - Johnlock

[(Anonymous)]

We see fics all the time where John and Sherlock have to pretend to be a married couple for a case. I'd love to see a fic where Sherlock has to pretend to be in a hetero marriage for a case, and drafts poor Molly to play the wife. Sherlock thinks he's acting exactly like a typical, hetero, suburban husband, but he's absolute pants at it. John has to step in and advise from the wings, and this interaction causes John to realise his feelings for Sherlock in the process.

Bonus: Plenty of steamy Johnlock smut at the end.

Please, no Sherlolly. I'd love to see the relationship between Sherlock and Molly become more equal in the process, with Molly calling Sherlock on some of his usual bullshit. I'm wide open to Lestrade/Molly, though!

RTYIs always welcome. :)

Re: Pretend marriage for Sherlock and Molly - Johnlock

[(Anonymous)]

+1 would love to see this written!

Sherlock/Evidence (Asimov)

[(Anonymous)]

Some time ago I re-read the short story collection I, robot and came to an abrupt stop after reading Evidence. Ever since then I can't get this crossover out of my head. John as Stephen Byerley, Sherlock as Dr. Susan Calvin. Maybe Greg as Alfred Lanning.

Re: Sherlock/Evidence (Asimov)

[(Anonymous)]

We need more classic sci-fi AUs!

Medical play

[(Anonymous)]

Sherlock consults Dr Watson about preventing his regular and uncontrollable erections.
Dr Watson prescribes a severe chastity device to prevent him reaching hardness and regular prostate milking to drain him of excess fluids. Sherlock has to report every time he feels arousal so Dr Watson can administer treatment.

Prolonged orgasm denial and humiliation play as Dr Watson chasises Sherlock for his lack of control, all the while edging him mercilessly, often milking his prostate to the point of pain.

Bonus for dubious 'cures' like sounding, cock-plugs or ball-stretchers; cock & ball torture couched in med-fet reasoning.

Double bonus if Sherlock is denied orgasm entirely. Often for months at a time. He achingly yearns for release, but loves the thrill of never knowing when he's going to be allowed it.

Re: Medical play

[(Anonymous)]

Um, God yes. -squirms- My internet for a fill.

CRACK, Literally, 5+1 fic, John knows how to realign spines

[sheneya.livejournal.com]

5 times people have walked in on John cracking someones back into place and thought it was something sexual, 1 time someone walked in on something sexual and thought he was cracking their backs into place.

He can be realigning different people or the same person.

Re: CRACK, Literally, 5+1 fic, John knows how to realign spines

[(Anonymous)]

Second. This seems cute and funny.

Pirate AU

[(Anonymous)]

Captain John Watson is a pirate and he captures a ship carrying a young nobleman named Sherlock Holmes.

-or-

Captain Sherlock Holmes is a pirate who captures a vessel an army doctor named John Watson.

Re: Pirate AU

[(Anonymous)]

YES, GOOD!

Fantasy AU

[(Anonymous)]

Sherlock Holmes is an eccentric prince more interested in wizardry than the crown he's supposed to inherit. John Watson is the knight that catches his eye despite himself.

Re: Fantasy AU

[(Anonymous)]

Interesting. May have to try this.

Hiatus Sherlock is a 00 Agent

[percygranger]

Doesn't have to be 007, could be 8 or 3 or what have you, but in a similar vein. Dashing, debonair spy who gets all the ladies (or men) that he wants. Or has to pretend to want. ;)

All I've seen thus far in crossovers is John as the agent and Sherlock as Q. IMHO, Sherlock would never rest at being an office agent.

So after the Fall, Sherlock simply refuses to be tech support in /his/ search, so Mycroft gives him a double-0 title. He has to convince a grumbling M, because you know how M is. Sherlock is surprisingly effective on missions.

Bonus points for including other Bonds, Qs, and Bond movie characters!

Any recs very much welcomed.

Re: FILL Sherlock Holmes, designation 002 1a/?

[(Anonymous)]

AN: This sort of turned into Mallory POV. Also: I'm awful at fight scenes, so most will be off stage or a character shooting someone point blank. And, in the universe of this, Austin Powers is a series of world famous (serious) spy movies, like James Bond is in ours. Also, I know the title is awful, sorry. Bad at making them, will probably change it if I ever crosspost to AO3. This is my first post on any prompt or kinkmeme ever.

Sherlock Holmes, designation 002 part 1a/?

Mallory groaned, resisting the urge to rest his head on his desk momentarily. When he first got the message from Holmes, he had been convinced that somehow the man had ganged up with Q to prank him. Then he remembered that while the Quartermaster and the Government were brothers, they were nothing alike. At least, not in that regard.

Apparently Holmes’ little brother, Sherlock Holmes, had not in fact died from swan diving off of a hospital (not surprising, really, resurrection was a common thing in this business, it had to be, considering how rare people who make 00 actually are). No, obviously Mallory had killed the reincarnation of Buddha or something because the universe was not giving him that one small act of kindness. Instead, apparently, the man was going to go on a one man hunt to destroy the network James Moriarty had left behind.

Which necessitated a license to kill, meaning that Mallory had to make the twat a 00. 002, to be precise, and now he was certain he was going to have to deal with complaints from half of Q branch. Or at least from Q himself.

“I’m sorry, Q, but you’re the best we have. We need to keep 002 alive, your brother’s orders, and you’re the master at keeping unruly agents in line,” he told the man apologetically. Predictably, the Quartermaster had been far from thrilled when he learned that his newest babysitting duty was his older brother.

Q made a noise that was absolutely not a grunt, and looked like he would have pouted had he not been sitting across from the desk of the 3rd most powerful man in Britain. “He’s worse than Bond, M. Not only will he ruin my equipment, but he will do so gleefully, not just in the line of duty. If you were worried about 007 being a loose cannon, then Sherlock is a loose cannon loaded with flaming coconuts.”

Mallory raised an eyebrow at the conjured image. “I see your point. But Holmes insists, and when Holmes insists the world bends over backwards to fulfill his wishes. I owe him far too many favours anyway.”

Q rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’ll man his comm. Still annoyed at him for faking his death, nearly gave me a heart attack. I’m not even 30, I’m not supposed to have heart attacks yet.”

“Thank you. You are dismissed.” Mallory always vaguely felt like a movie villain when he said that, which was mildly unsettling. It wasn’t like he was bloody Goldfinger or some other overblown creep from an Austin Powers film.

Q closed the door behind him and Mallory slumped back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. Now to make sure 002 didn’t end up dying yet again on this crazed manhunt he was about to embark on.


















































































































c









































c

"But if I'm never your hero I can never let you down"

[(Anonymous)]

Please give me some BAMF!Lestrade?

Anderson isn't an idiot.

[(Anonymous)]

Someone has taken to brutally murdering inmates. Despite his protests, John is chosen to infiltrate the prison and report what Sherlock demands he find. John is murdered. A horrific death that would have been painful and long. Through DNA and dental records John is identified.

It's only Anderson that believes John's alive from the evidence collected... Anderson is right. Now John waits. Tortured daily by an individual that is overjoyed to have bested Sherlock Holmes. Anderson must somehow convince Sherlock that John's alive before it really is to late.

Re: Anderson isn't an idiot.(OP clarification)

[(Anonymous)]

It's obviously John thats tortured daily. Not anderson. Anderson is fine and has no connection to the murders. Just wanted to clarify that for any potential fillers that might take advantage of that particular SPaG screwup.

I wanna be like you

[(Anonymous)]

Secretly, Sherlock admires Mycroft, that's why every now and then he puts on a three piece suit, grabs an umbrella and then practises in front of a mirror to talk, walk and look like his older brother.

Can be followed by smut with John (who thinks that Sherlock's really hot when he's all Mycroft-ish) but gen fic is fine, too.

Re: I wanna be like you

[(Anonymous)]

Sherlock made sure everyone was John and Mrs.Hudson were gone before he gave a small grin.

Quickly he ran into his closet and dug out small trunk hidden deep within his clothes and experiments. Opening the locked trunk he pulled out a three piece suit. One that looked liked something Mycroft would wear. Grabbing the umbrella he walked in front of his mirror as Mycroft would.

"We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!" He yelled in the same manner Mycroft had yelled at him a few weeks back. Pausing he frowned, no it wasn't right Mycroft didn't seem that angry, it was more a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment.

"No of course Mycroft wouldn't be just angry. He's so much more complex then that." With a longing sigh he thought of his older brother. Oh how he wished he could be similar to the man.

Caught up in his acting he didn't notice the door opening.

"Sherlock I'm ba-" John stopped dead in his tracks. There was Sherlock the man who proclaimed he hated his older brother...dressed as him?

"I'm pretty sure I didn't drink anything...." John said as he closed the door behind him.

"I would hope you weren't drinking so early in the morning Dr. Watson." Sherlock said in his "Mycroft" voice.

John wasn't sure if he should laugh or be aroused. It was all very confusing and honestly he didn't want to deal with it.

"Uh huh...well um...Mycroft I'll be in my room. I put the groceries away and do try not to use them all in your experiment this time."

Sherlock and John stared at one another before they burst out into laughter. Once they finished laughing hysterically John decided to ask.

"So should I question?"

"As long as it stays in the flat." Sherlock said as he put the umbrella down.

"As everything does." John reassured.

"Well to be completely honest I admire Mycroft very much so. I enjoy dressing as him and pretending to be him." He stated as if it was simple.

John stared for a moment before deciding he already laughed and got it out of his system. Might as well get the arousal out of his system as well.

Walking up to the detective he pulled on his tie, forcing Sherlock's face to only be inches away from his own.

"Well Mr.Holmes I might be inclined to tell you more about Sherlock if you convince me."

Sherlock grinned as before getting into character.

"I'm a very powerful man Doctor do you really want to try this?"

"Of course." John said as he pulled the man into a quick but rough kiss. Sherlock pulled away, out of breath but smirking nonetheless.

"You don't seem very afraid." Sherlock said in the same tone Mycroft used on John before. John noticed this and grinned, following with his old response.

"You don't seem very frightening." John replied while letting go of the other's tie and making his way into his bedroom.

"Try and scare me Mycroft." He said, nearly purring before going into his room, shutting the door.

Sherlock looked at the door for a moment before grinning. He truly did admire what being his brother could bring him.

Makeout Time...Because Science

[(Anonymous)]

Johnlock Prompt! In their most recent case, the primary suspect's alibi is called into question by Sherlock. She said she was making out with someone when the victim was murdered, but her lipstick is clearly perfectly in place when the boys get there to question her. She says that her lipstick is long-wearing to the point of semi-permanent and though another person corroborates her story, Sherlock is doubtful.

Sherlock has to test this lipstick's durability for himself. Since the friction and textures involved in making out are nearly impossible to replicate altogether, he turns to his trusty assistant for this experiment. Maybe he's just using this as an excuse, maybe this awakens something in him, maybe John gets a bit too enthusiastic seeing Sherlock's mouth all highlighted like that, doesn't really matter to me.

TL:DR All I really care about is seeing Sherlock put on a longwear lipstick and make out with John for scientific purposes.

Re: Makeout Time...Because Science

[whatthefuckbenj.livejournal.com]

Totally seconding!

AI Computer Watson

[(Anonymous)]

I just saw an ad by IBM on the telly about this artificially intelligent computer system named Watson which is "capable of answering questions posed in natural language" (thanks Wikipedia). They were saying in the ad that it can "read" like 15 million medical texts in 20 seconds or so, and then help medical students check their diagnoses.

So of course I was immediately reminded of John, and I'd love an AU where John is this AI computer system. I don't care what else happens, though I'd be happy if Johnlock was in there. Though I've no idea how that'd work out. It just popped into my head when I saw the ad.

Re: AI Computer Watson

[(Anonymous)]

I could totally see Sherlock and John being like Tony and Jarvis in Iron Man. Only with more bickering.
Seconded.

An accident and experiment

[taro-mochi.livejournal.com]

John and Lestrade recognise each other during ASiP. Years ago, when Lestrade was a young man prone to getting absolutely smashed every weekend (early twenties?), he had a one night stand with John. The catch? John was a teenager at the time, and underage. It was mutually consensual, as much as a teen with raging hormones and a guy completely off his face could be, but it's still illegal. Lestrade didn't realise this until the next morning, when he found a blue-eyed, blonde and obviously still underage boy in his bed.

They weren't in love. They weren't dating. It was an experiment for John, and an accident for Lestrade. I want to see how they react to each other years later.

Bonus if you touch on Lestrade's occupation as a policeman with this in his past.

Double bonus if you make this Johnlock, and Sherlock is aware of their one night stand. He accepts it...how long it takes him to, and what he does in the meantime, that's a different story.

Re: An accident and experiment

[(Anonymous)]

This is such an awesome idea.