sherlockbbc_fic | Prompting Part XXXIV

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Prompting Part XXXIV

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Doesn't have to be 007, could be 8 or 3 or what have you, but in a similar vein. Dashing, debonair spy who gets all the ladies (or men) that he wants. Or has to pretend to want. ;)

All I've seen thus far in crossovers is John as the agent and Sherlock as Q. IMHO, Sherlock would never rest at being an office agent.

So after the Fall, Sherlock simply refuses to be tech support in /his/ search, so Mycroft gives him a double-0 title. He has to convince a grumbling M, because you know how M is. Sherlock is surprisingly effective on missions.

Bonus points for including other Bonds, Qs, and Bond movie characters!

Any recs very much welcomed.

AN: This sort of turned into Mallory POV. Also: I'm awful at fight scenes, so most will be off stage or a character shooting someone point blank. And, in the universe of this, Austin Powers is a series of world famous (serious) spy movies, like James Bond is in ours. Also, I know the title is awful, sorry. Bad at making them, will probably change it if I ever crosspost to AO3. This is my first post on any prompt or kinkmeme ever.

Sherlock Holmes, designation 002 part 1a/?

Mallory groaned, resisting the urge to rest his head on his desk momentarily. When he first got the message from Holmes, he had been convinced that somehow the man had ganged up with Q to prank him. Then he remembered that while the Quartermaster and the Government were brothers, they were nothing alike. At least, not in that regard.

Apparently Holmes’ little brother, Sherlock Holmes, had not in fact died from swan diving off of a hospital (not surprising, really, resurrection was a common thing in this business, it had to be, considering how rare people who make 00 actually are). No, obviously Mallory had killed the reincarnation of Buddha or something because the universe was not giving him that one small act of kindness. Instead, apparently, the man was going to go on a one man hunt to destroy the network James Moriarty had left behind.

Which necessitated a license to kill, meaning that Mallory had to make the twat a 00. 002, to be precise, and now he was certain he was going to have to deal with complaints from half of Q branch. Or at least from Q himself.

“I’m sorry, Q, but you’re the best we have. We need to keep 002 alive, your brother’s orders, and you’re the master at keeping unruly agents in line,” he told the man apologetically. Predictably, the Quartermaster had been far from thrilled when he learned that his newest babysitting duty was his older brother.

Q made a noise that was absolutely not a grunt, and looked like he would have pouted had he not been sitting across from the desk of the 3rd most powerful man in Britain. “He’s worse than Bond, M. Not only will he ruin my equipment, but he will do so gleefully, not just in the line of duty. If you were worried about 007 being a loose cannon, then Sherlock is a loose cannon loaded with flaming coconuts.”

Mallory raised an eyebrow at the conjured image. “I see your point. But Holmes insists, and when Holmes insists the world bends over backwards to fulfill his wishes. I owe him far too many favours anyway.”

Q rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’ll man his comm. Still annoyed at him for faking his death, nearly gave me a heart attack. I’m not even 30, I’m not supposed to have heart attacks yet.”

“Thank you. You are dismissed.” Mallory always vaguely felt like a movie villain when he said that, which was mildly unsettling. It wasn’t like he was bloody Goldfinger or some other overblown creep from an Austin Powers film.

Q closed the door behind him and Mallory slumped back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. Now to make sure 002 didn’t end up dying yet again on this crazed manhunt he was about to embark on.

c

c

This is SA writing a semi panicked thing
The long blank space is completely accidental. Ignore it please

-happily ignores random format error- YOU"RE FILLING MY PROMPT!!!1!

LET ME LOVE YOU.

Yeah, no, seriously, thank you. It's off to an interesting start!

Thanks :D
It might go into a weird direction (half tempted to make John a member of Q branch, hidden depths yadaya.

.

AN: Q POV. Might change how it’s written next part, in letters written from Sherlock unsent.

Sherlock Holmes, designation 002 2a/?

Q stared at his monitor, trying his best not to swear in French. Of course he would end up playing babysitter for his only-mostly-dead baby brother. Of course. He sighed. At least the missions he would be going on would be no more complicated than what Bond dealt with every other day.

The dark haired man stared at his reflection in the glare. Had he really just compared Sherlock, Sherlock, to Bond? To James, who he may or may not have been crushing on since that moment in the museum right before the whole Silva thing blew up (quite literally) in their faces? Fuck. That was… wrong on so many levels.

Sighing again, Q pressed the bluetooth device into his ear. “002, do you read me?”

“Affirmative Q.”

Q repressed a shudder. Of all the things he had been expecting when he heard that

Mycroft had pressed Sherlock into service, it hadn’t been this. This… coldness. While his brother had always proclaimed himself a sociopath, he had never been this emotionless. Shaking off his doubts, he decided it was probably the shock of surviving a four story drop. If the rumours were true, that had not in fact been Sherlock’s intention. Pure luck and some Mycroftian shenanigans had saved his life.

Looking at the camera feed that was displayed on several of the other monitors, Q said, “Do you see the door up ahead?”

Sh-002 nodded, staring unblinkingly at one of the cameras. “Your mark is two door beyond it, wearing a navy suit. There are few cameras, but I will try tell you as much as I can from what is there.”

002 nodded again. “Seduce or interrogate?”

“John Gardner is open about his affairs with younger men. It has been determined that seduction would be the best method of extracting information.” Q lowered his voice slightly, “Sherlock, if you’re uncomfortable that…”

His thought was interrupted by Sherlock changing completely into the character he was meant to be playing, young man looking for a good time and hopefully some money.

Q realized it was bad enough listening to Bond having sex, but it was worse when it was his older brother. He only fully turned the sound back up when 002 began speaking in Serbian, having switched to full interrogation mode.

He heard the sound of something snap, and a shower running. Then the noise of someone pulling clothes on and 002 walked out the door and into visual range again.

Q nearly exploded. “You didn’t have to kill him!”

“I didn’t. Merely knocked him out after breaking a bone. Deserved it, anyway, most of his boys were younger than you, far younger.”

002 began walking back the hotel, and Q was unsettled, though he didn’t let it show. Who was this stranger in Sherlock’s body? Sherlock wouldn’t have broken a bone unnecessarily.

“Still, 002, it would be preferable for you not to leave broken bones in your wake.”

“Yes sir.” That clipped tone again. Cold, and emotionless. Q repressed another shiver.

AN: The crossed out bits are him quite literally crossing them out with a pen.

Sherlock Holmes, designation 002 3a/?

Dear John,
~~I miss you~~ ~~It’s really hard without you here~~ Mycroft is being annoying. My hotel rooms are poor quality and the beds are lumpy at best. ~~and you’re not there with me.~~
I have taken out the corner of the web in Serbia. ~~For now anyway, Moriarty’s web is a hydra. I don’t know when I’ll be able to come home.~~

~~I miss you~~

The therapist that MI6 has assigned me is forcing me to write this letter to you. If I don’t do as he says I will be pulled from field duty and no longer will be able to ~~keep you safe~~destroy Moriarty. Apparently I have to write what I feel about my death.

I was scared on the roof. I thought I would die. I wanted to save you, that was all that mattered. You needed to be safe. You, Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson. Mycroft saved me. Sometimes I hate him I miss you. So much. I hate this. I try to force my emotions away and now it hurts less. I thinked I scared Q Sometimes I think it would be better had I not been saved

You know what? This is boring.

Mycroft will make them clear me for the field anyway. ~~Anything to keep you safe, right?~~

Sherlock Holmes, designation 002 3b/?

I have to sleep with people for this job. Sometimes MI6 will send me on missions that aren’t related to the web take down and I can’t justify it as being for you. I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. I feel dirty. I don't like it. And it's ridiculous because you wouldn't ever want to have sex with me, would you? You're straight. I don't know anything about what's going on in your life. Mycroft won't let me check up on you.

Sherlock Holmes, designation 002 4a/?

I don’t know how you managed it, the killing. I justify it because it’s for you, but it’s still hard. I don’t like it. I don’t like taking away life.

~~Sometimes I wish I had really died on the roof. I don’t like who I am, now.~~

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