Prompting Part XXXIV

[sherlockbbc_fic]

S3 SPOILER POLICY
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WARNINGS/OFFENSIVE WORDING IN PROMPTS
Please consider warning for prompts that may trigger people (and also for fills, because some people read in flat view) and phrasing prompts in a manner that strives to be respectful.

Things which you might want to consider warning for include: Rape/Non-Con, Death, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Underage Relationships, among others.

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MEME LINKS
Pinboard Archive - Delicious Archive - Guide to the Archive
Filled Prompts Posts: Parts 1-23 - Parts 24+ - Spoiler Free
The Glorious FAQ - Page-A-Mod

Flat View of This Page - Newest Page in Flatview - Newest Page of the Meme

Love Post - Chatter Post - Searching Post
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Links to previous prompting parts

OTHER LINKS AND AFFILIATES
sherlock_rant: A place to rant about or discuss anything with few to no restrictions.
sherlock_rpf: This is a kinkmeme for RPF about the show.
sherlockcrit: A multi-fandom betaing/concrit community, with a focus on BBC Sherlock.
sherlockbbc: A community dedicated to the BBC adaptation of Sherlock Holmes.
Useful resources for Sherlock and LiveJournal.
Sherlock screencaps.

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Comments

Fill: No Refuge from Memory: 12a/?

[cbzofdeath.livejournal.com]

TRIGGER WARNING: MORE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Part 12: Reprieve

On the third day after their kiss, John knew he was going to have to end it soon. He was too afraid of hurting Sherlock again. He was exhausted from lack of sleep and constant vigilance against potential triggers. He hated that the darkness inside him was ruining the one bit of happiness in his life. The hurt look Sherlock gave him after the hand job had slain him. He could imagine the wheels turning in that brilliant mind, trying to work out John’s thoughts.

He knew that he was living on borrowed time. Whenever Sherlock tried to touch him sexually, his instincts screamed at him to strike out. So far, he’d been able to suppress the impulse, but it was a near thing. He promised himself that he would never let it get to that point, but if he wanted to keep that promise he would have to act soon.

The last thing he hoped to do before he left was to make love to Sherlock. He wondered whether he should top or bottom. The answer came almost instantly. He wanted to bottom. He wanted Sherlock to take his virginity, have a piece of himself that no one else had ever seen. He wanted to feel Sherlock inside him, stretching him. He wanted Sherlock to come inside him, so that a small fragment of his friend would be with him when he died.

He decided that the next night, the fourth night after their kiss would be the perfect time. As much as longed to make love to Sherlock without a condom, he doubted his flatmate would comply. STIs weren’t a concern when one was planning to die the next day, but he couldn’t risk arousing his flatmate’s suspicions. He went to the chemists the next morning and bought some condoms and an enema kit. He was going to do everything in his power to ensure that this night would be perfect for Sherlock.

*

Sherlock knew that John was up to something. It wasn’t too hard to deduce what it was after his flatmate’s furtive trip to the chemist’s that morning.

He felt conflicted. He didn’t want this kind of physical contact yet, but he feared that if he confronted John, he might lose him completely. He picked up his violin and played a melancholy tune. This was what came of caring what others thought of him. Ever since he’d started keeping his thoughts to himself, their relationship had become a disaster.

He decided that he was no longer going to allow John to dictate the terms of their relationship. If he confronted him now, John would just deny his intention to have sex. Sherlock decided it was better to wait until his flatmate broached the topic.

He formulated a plan:

Step 1: Turn John down (with tact, if possible)
Step 2: Suggest a non-sexual alternative bonding activity
Step 3: Lull a relaxed John into talking about his bizarre behavior.

John waited until that evening to strike. He was wearing a vest and boxers. His hair was wet from a shower. He ambushed Sherlock on the sofa, kissing his lips, jawline and neck with dizzying heat before taking his hands and dragging him to his feet.

Addled with hormones and the smell of John’s shampoo, Sherlock allowed himself to be led upstairs. John pushed him to the bed, silencing him with his mouth as he unbuttoned his shirt. Sherlock rocked up onto his elbows. He felt powerless sprawled flat on his back. John’s lips gentled and he backed up slightly. He tugged at the hem of his vest.

Sherlock pulled away with a gasp. This had to stop now before he lost the ability to speak.

“John, Stop.”

“What? Why?” John sat up, looking confused.

Sherlock rose as well. He needed to be at eye level with John.

“I’ve decided that we are not having sex tonight.”