sherlockbbc_fic | Prompting Part XXXIV

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

John’s shoulders collapsed in on themselves with disappointment. Sherlock frowned. John’s reaction seemed a bit out of proportion.

“What? How did you know?” he asked.

“I think the lube and condoms on the bedside table would be an obvious enough clue even for you.”

The corners of John’s lips tightened with concealed emotion, “Why don’t you want to have sex? Is it something I did? Was it the hand job yesterday because I can get better at-“

Sherlock cut him off. “It has nothing to do with your skill. That’s fine, more than fine. The problem is that I’m not ready to have intercourse with you.”

“Oh.” John looked surprised, as though this thought had never occurred to him.

“Instead, I would like to offer you an alternative. I noticed that you don’t like being touched sexually. I’m not going to pry because judging from your body language, you won’t tell me anything anyway. My suggestion is that rather than do something that will make us both feel uncomfortable, we share physical intimacy that is not sexual.”

John’s brow dipped with confusion, “How do we do that?”

“Take off your vest and lie down on your back. I’m going to give you a massage. It will give us the chance to get used to touching each other without any expectations or pressure.”

John looked at him with an incredulous half-smile, “Hold on a minute. You, Sherlock Holmes, are offering to give me a massage?”

“Really, John, why must you insist on repeating the obvious? Now, please, do as I ask. I’ll be right back.”

Sherlock ran to the bathroom to grab some towels and a bottle of almond oil he had stashed in his room. When he returned, John’s shirt was already off and he sat on the bed looking a bit awkward. Sherlock arranged the pillows and towels in such a way as to provide proper support for his flatmate’s spine then encouraged him to lie down.

“This way, you can see what I’m doing, so you won’t be surprised. Warn me if I’m about to touch you someplace that might trigger you.”

He started with John’s right arm where there were no old injuries to avoid. He began with the larger muscle groups of his upper arm. At first, he was tense. Sherlock could see that John was forcing himself to take relaxing breaths. He kept the pressure on the muscles light until they grew pliant under his hands. He didn’t want to cause a new injury.

Eventually, John did relax. He closed his eyes and his face went slack. Sherlock smiled as he worked his way down his forearm to the small muscles of his hand. He had forgotten how handsome John looked without the tiny lines of strain framing the corners of his eyes and mouth.

“I’m going to switch arms now.” He murmured in what he hoped was a soothing voice.

John grunted in response.

The left arm was slightly more complicated. He was careful with the shoulder and the muscles connecting to it. He avoided the scar altogether. With John’s eyes closed, he was finally able to study him. He observed the scars around his nipples, lighter and fewer in number than those lower down. He wasn’t heavily muscled, but he had the compact, athletic frame of someone who had played sports early in life and had never lost the habit of caring for his body.

Sherlock was surprised by the amount of hair on his chest. It was pale and coarse. He could see a few gray hairs sprinkled in with the dark blonde. Seeing him vulnerable stirred Sherlock’s protective instincts. He wanted more than anything to curl up next to him and wrap his arms around him. He longed to crawl inside his mind and kill the demons that made him shy away from his touch.

He could do neither of these things, so he did what he could, which was to give John a reprieve from the horror that lived inside his head.

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading/commenting. I’m happy that so many people are enjoying this fic! The next update will be Tues. evening/night.

I'm so glad Sherlock spoke up before he ended up traumatized as well. The non-sexual bonding activity is a Perfect idea and maybe will even calm John's suicidal thoughts a bit.

The magical healing sex cliche is also not my cup of tea. I prefer a bit more realistic mending when reading about trauma. Really loving this so far.

Prompting Part XXXIV

Fill: No Refuge from Memory: 12b/?

Re: Fill: No Refuge from Memory: 12b/?