Rant Post

[sherlockbbc_fic]

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No real directions, but this isn't a place for debate. It's a place for RANTIN' AND RAVIN'.

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Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I am far, far too old to be getting paranoid about leaving a nice compliment on a photo of someone I like. Right now, the dialogue in my head is going like this:

Ooh, she looks really pretty in that picture. I should tell her she's pretty!
WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE BEING CALLED PRETTY
okay tell her she has nice eyes, I've always loved her eyes
NO THAT'S WEIRD SHE'LL KNOW YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HER
well so what if she does it's not like I'm ashamed
YES BUT YOU DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW HOW BAD OF A CRUSH YOU HAVE
I'm not twelve! I can deal with my feelings and pay her a complement like a respectable adult
NOPE YOU ARE GOING TO HIDE AND NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN

I am pathetic.

[(Anonymous)]

oh noooooooooooooooo page starter

I'll be in the corner. With a bucket over my head.

Baby come back

[(Anonymous)]

How will I download the QI episodes now?

PANIC! NEED TO WATCH QI EPISODEEEEEEES.

*shakes fist at the FBI*

Re: Baby come back

[(Anonymous)]

Use the internet, man. It's a big internet.

FUCK YOU I AM NOT ELECTRO

[(Anonymous)]

I know it's winter, because I'm getting static shocks everyfuckingwhere. OWWWWW. =(

Re: FUCK YOU I AM NOT ELECTRO

[(Anonymous)]

ARE YOU ONE OF MY CATS?

Stupid bugs

[(Anonymous)]

Am I the only person starting to get really annoyed with the lj comment lag? Especially in these desperate times?

And hell, I'm probably not going to be able to find this comment again once I post it.

Re: Stupid bugs

[(Anonymous)]

Signing in fixed it for me. If you're not signed in already, it's worth a try.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm six months into my year-long foreign placement and I miss my girlfriend so much that when she texted me just now (something mundane about some knitting idea she had) I kissed my phone.
How do people do long distance relationships? I was just home for Christmas too, it shouldn't be so bad. I cry every night for missing her.

[(Anonymous)]

Skype, write letters, text, call, send each other significant items of clothing to cuddle.

[(Anonymous)]

Why are Molly and Mycroft my favourite characters? After S1, Sherlock was my homeboy, with Molly and Mycroft close behind, but now they're on top. Once, just once, I'd like to fall for a popular character, or ship a popular pairing. Hm.

Still, could be worse. My favourite Star Trek character is Damar. 5 series, 11 movies, and my favourite's a Kanar-drinking wanker no one's ever heard about.

[(Anonymous)]

I love those three immensely! And now I've just though of a prompt. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREEZE. Dammit.

can of worms, twist key to open

[(Anonymous)]

I despise the way an American law is being enacted globally. The world is not a US state.

Re: can of worms, twist key to open

[(Anonymous)]

I'm trying really really really really really hard not to hate the US. Like, really hard.

cravings

[(Anonymous)]

I would tackle my own grandmother to the ground right now for a fresh ripe strawberry.

Re: cravings

[(Anonymous)]

This makes it sound like your grandmother is made of strawberries, and they'll fall out if you tackle her. Like a strawberry piñata.

PASSWORDS >:C

[(Anonymous)]

I have too many of them. Passwords.

To log into my laptop. To open the file with all my writing on. To open Firefox. One for each of my six email accounts (five I use on a daily basis). Friend's email account. Livejournal. Dreamwidth. Two for Fanfiction.net. AO3. Waterstones. Amazon. Apple store. Banking - two passwords and a PIN. University number. Facebook. Twitter. Railway travel account.

And I can't use the same password twice. I just can't. Not even variations of the same. I'm rubbish at remembering things! I have to think to remember my own age half the time! A little while ago a forgot my Livejournal password. I'd been using it multiple times a day for months but no - I had absolutely no idea. Had to change it in the end to something completely new. I think very soon my brain will collapse in on itself and I'll forget every one of my passwords and then I'll be utterly screwed.

Re: PASSWORDS >:C

[(Anonymous)]

Confession: I just bother to remember my email ones, and then tell my other services to send a password reminder whenever I forget. I've had to be "reminded" of my library password every single time I've logged in, which is definitely more than...40 times?

[(Anonymous)]

Five year olds are adorable and I want to lift them up and blow raspberries in their little tummies. Or at least be able to give them a hug when they're sad, because I know the raspberries thing is a bit weird. And I can't because I'm only allowed to touch their arms. I have to throw my arms up in the air when they hug me. Which, yeah, I get. But it still sucks.

[(Anonymous)]

...why? is this some sort of physical law I've never noticed or

what

I mean if a child hugs you and his/her parents are okay with that I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to hug him/her back

***SPOILERSSSS ALL UP IN DIS BITCH***

[(Anonymous)]

Why am so irrationally angry at all the "Moriarty totally faked his death you guyzzzz" people? I don't know. It's just, it's not canon and you know, the whole fucking point of Sherlock's gambit was to get rid of Moriarty (well, in canon the point was to kill everything, but after the retcon).

I also hate hate hate the nickname Seb, and the whole "him and Moriarty are the perfect couple and they're so eviiiil and sexy together!". I can't help it. And since the "Moriarty totes faked his death" scenario usually involve comments like "lol Seb totally comes pick him up and then they go and make people into shoes because they're so gay on a gay bloody rainbow look at how quirky and transgressive they are Seb Seb Seb!" and yeah I'm sort of hitting a perfect storm of rage here.

And it's all so fucking irrational.

Re: ***SPOILERSSSS ALL UP IN DIS BITCH***

[(Anonymous)]

Do you hate it when Martin calls Benedict Ben?

Sherlock's bottom

[(Anonymous)]

Wait, no, I mean bottom Sherlock. Especially with John as top. Can someone explain that to me, please? I don't get it and I honestly want to get it.

Re: Sherlock's bottom

[(Anonymous)]

It's hot.

John's bottom

[(Anonymous)]

Wait, no, I mean bottom John. Especially with Sherlock as top. Can someone explain that to me, please? I don't get it and I honestly want to get it.

Re: John's bottom

[(Anonymous)]

I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

WHAT IS GOING ON

Can anyone explain relationships to me?

[(Anonymous)]

Honest (slightly ranty, sorry) question for those of you who write Sherlock as asexual but romantic. What is the difference between friendship and relationship without sex, emotionally. I seem to be completely aromantic, so really, I don't understand. I don't mean to offend.

I... just don't fucking get romance. I do understand falling in love, to some degree, but as soon as two people decide to become a couple, there seems to be a whole set of rules involved that everyone else seems to get on an instinctive level. I don't. I'd probably get monogamy if it were just 'don't sleep with other people,' but it doesn't stop there, right? Let's say Anderson is totally into dinosaurs, but his wife isn't. Now Anderson meets a woman, I don't know, during coffee break or something, who's also a dino-freak. Wearing dino-jumpers.* Now, conveniently, Jurassic Parc, uhm, 12 opens that very night in London, and dino-lady's got tickets. Anderson can't go, right? Not with a women, at least not without talking it over with his wife first? What if she's a lesbian, would that change things? What if Anderson's bi, and watching dinos with another man? A straight man? A gay/bi man? What?

There seems to be a general consensus on emotional exclusivity in relationships... and I just don't understand how that works, or why you'd want it. Anyone explain?

Now, Sherlock, he doesn't look like someone to me who gets these rules. He seems both asexual and aromatic to me in canon, and for the sake of fic, I'd buy him as sexual but aromantic, never the other way round. Maybe I'm projecting?


* http://www.cafepress.com.au/+red_dino_sweatshirt,479037255

Re: Can anyone explain relationships to me?

[(Anonymous)]

There's not as much consensus as you seem to think there is. Case in point: Anderson's wife may or may not be OK with him going to see Jurassic Park with dino lady. She may or may not want him to talk it over with him first. If I was Mrs Anderson, I would want him to go and have fun; I wouldn't expect him to ask permission, but talking about it with me would be nice because couples tend to talk about their plans for the evening.

Not everyone has the same level of emotional exclusivity. Some people really do see their relationship as being like having a best friend they occasionally make love with.

Sorry if that just makes everything more confusing.

[(Anonymous)]

Depression is a stupid and dumb mental illness. It is inconvenient and counterintuitive. I would like it to go away.

Freaking depression.

The only think it's good for is an excuse to make tea at all hours, and even that doesn't work on bad days.

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry. :(

Although I'd like to add that it's also a good excuse for not showering/changing out of your pajamas for five days straight.

It will go away, though. It may not seem like it, but it will.

YOU GUYS I SOLVED REICHENBACH *spoilers!!*

[(Anonymous)]

SO. Moffat said that Sherlock did something out-of-character. After literally minutes of contemplation I have come across the only possible answer.

Sherlock gets crisps for Molly and John. What crisps does he get?

Quavers

BUT. In The Blind Banker, we clearly see that John is eating Wotsits! How could the world's most observant man miss that Wotsits are John's preferred cheese-flavoured corn-based snack?!

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE REASON FOR THIS HEINOUS ERROR.

Sherlock has bought all of the Wotsits in London and then filled a truck with them. When he jumps off of the roof, he lands in this truck and subsequently becomes a rather luminous orange, due to the sticky nature of the specific cheese flavouring found in Wotsits.

THIS CAUSES A "SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM FIELD" because everyone will look and say "Hm, that looks a bit like Sherlock Holmes but Sherlock Holmes is not orange so I must OBVIOUSLY be mistaken. Carry on in your ways, orangy cheese-scented man."

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BODY, I HEAR YOU CRY?

IT IS MORIARTY'S BODY. Sherlock has put a mask on him and all of his clothes. What's that? Moriarty isn't the same height or build as Sherlock, so all those neatly tailored clothes would look wrong? WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID TO SOLVE THAT PROBLEM.

THAT'S RIGHT. HE STUFFED THE SPACES WITH MORE WOTSITS

John was so overcome with grief (and also concussion) that he didn't recognise the crunchy texture when he took Moriarty's arm.

BAM. MOFFAT, I'D LIKE MY HAT NOW.

Re: YOU GUYS I SOLVED REICHENBACH *spoilers!!*

[twisty-ties.livejournal.com]

MOTHERFUCKING CANON

The more you know.

[(Anonymous)]

Rupert Graves was the guy in Maurice? Wow!

Re: The more you know.

[(Anonymous)]

Rupert Graves also guest-starred in Morse once.

I think Morse is one of the best crime shows ever made. I don't even care if that makes me sound old; I wasn't even born when Morse began but I love it to bits.

megaupload worries

[(Anonymous)]

The whole megaupload thing is targeting the people in charge, right? Someone with an non-paid account who had downloaded but never uploaded anything isn't in legal danger, right?

Re: megaupload worries

[(Anonymous)]

Omfg, how many times do we have to repeat: it depends on where you live. Check your country's own laws for details. Meme is not google.

[(Anonymous)]

I just heard Benedict Cumberbach sing.

THE INTERNET IS AWESOME!

[(Anonymous)]

THIS IS NOT A RANT! THIS IS OPPOSITE OF RANT!

RAWR!

Lestrade's bottom

[(Anonymous)]

Mycroft wants to know why it can't hold ALL THE UMBRELLAS.

Re: Lestrade's bottom

[(Anonymous)]

That sounds very kinky. But the answer is: because of physics.

WE CAN DO THIS

[(Anonymous)]

FRIENDS, ANONS AND SELF, I KNOW THAT WE HAVE FACED OUR SHARE OF TRIALS. I KNOW THAT THE LAST EPISODE LEFT MANY OF US REELING IN A DEEP, DEEP POOL OF SHOCK AND NON-EXPLOSIVE, CRUELLY INTERRUPTING OUR DANGEROUSLY UNLETHAL LEVELS OF SEXUAL TENSION LIKE SO MANY BEEGEES RINGTONES. BUT WE SHALL PREVAIL.

LET US NOT BE DISTRACTED BY FOOLISH CONCERNS SUCH AS CLASS AND WORK TOMORROW OR THE HATERS AND THEIR HATIN'. LET US NOT FALL PREY TO DREAD, APATHY AND DISTASTE FOR OUR WORK. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT YOU ARE WRITERS, THE BEST DAMNED WRITERS ON THE PLANET. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE INSPIRATIONAL, THAT YOUR COMMENTS FLOW LIKE PRECIOUS OXYGEN TO THE TREES OF THE GREATEST PIECES OF FANFICTION THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR PROMPTS HAVE MADE ME LAUGH, CRY AND PEE A LITTLE. YOUR EFFORT IS TIRELESS AND YOUR WORDS ARE MIGHTY. MAY YOU HAVE ALL GOOD FORTUNE AND PRAISE HEAPED UPON YOU LIKE THAT ORGY FIC YOU CONSIDERED WRITING ONE TIME. MAY YOU NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER DOUBT AND NEVER WAVER ON YOUR QUEST. THIS IS MY BLESSING/NON-RELIGIOUS AFFIRMATION OF AWESOME FOR YOU.

AS MUCH AS I BELIEVE IN SHERLOCK HOLMES (WHICH IS A GREAT DEAL, CONSIDERING THAT THE EPISODE NEVER GAVE US A CHANCE NOT TO), MEME, I BELIEVE IN YOU.

TOGETHER, WE WILL BE GREATNESS.

TOGETHER, WE WILL BE LEGEND.

TOGETHER, WE WILL BRING "STAYIN' ALIVE" BACK TO THE TOP 40.

TOGETHER, WE WILL ROCK THIS WORLD A BIT LOPSIDED.

TOGETHER, WE SHALL WRITE SOME FUCKIN' PORN.

AND GEN FIC.

AND SLASH TOO.

AND PROBABLY SOME HET, POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS, THINGS CONCERNING INANIMATE OBJECTS AND FOR SOME BIZARRE REASON EXTINCT SPECIES OF ANIMALS, ERRANT COMMENT FILLS, CRACK, AND LOADS OF WHUMP AND ANGST.

THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN AND WILL NOT WRITE.

REMEMBER THIS AND YOU SHALL SHINE WITH THE BRIGHTNESS OF EIGHTY MILLION BLARINGLY WHITE LIVEJOURNAL BACKGROUNDS WHEN YOU HAVE A BIT OF A HEADACHE. REMEMBER THIS AND YOU WILL WIN AT EVERYTHING. REMEMBER THIS, MY CHILDREN, AND CARRY ON WITH YOUR BAD SELVES.

Re: WE CAN DO THIS

[(Anonymous)]

I love you.

[(Anonymous)]

I probably shouldn't say the DOJ, FBI and Big Media had it coming - especially as someone who uses LJ regularly, but... they had it coming.

I can't believe I'm agreeing with Anonymous.

[(Anonymous)]

I had the same reaction, and then I felt like an ass, because what Megaupload does is illegal in the US.

At the same time, I don't think it's the fed's job to police the web like this, especially when it affects people outside the US and therefore outside their jurisdiction.

The whole concept of jurisdiction on the internet is ludicrous.

I'm rambling.

All I meant to say was: +1

chronic illness/pain paradox; I know some of you know how this is

[(Anonymous)]

if I show how miserable I am everybody's uncomfortable and wishes I wouldn't

if I don't show how miserable I am then when I try to explain that I'm not okay just now and need a minute, nobody believes me

well what the fuck do you want me do to, universe
I can't just curl up in a ball and never move again no matter how tempting that is on some mornings (or afternoons or evenings)
and I can't just ignore it entirely because it fucking hurts and I'm tired.

MEH most people are wonderful but goddamn do the awful ones ever make sure their voices are heard

Re: chronic illness/pain paradox; I know some of you know how this is

[(Anonymous)]

Belated gentle hugs anon (from one chronic illness sufferer to another).

If you feel crap - admit it. If they feel uncomfortable... well - it isn't like you chose to feel this way is it?

Take some time for yourself - you are allowed to be selfish. If they don't get the whole illness/pain thing - well - fuck them. Its always the ones who just. don't. get. it. who are loudest.

Time to start asking them how they know better than you (who's experiencing it) and all the health professionals who trained for years to treat it. And any more stupid comments from them deserve a "Google it" rather than you wasting your valuable energy on them!

Definitely hope it all settles down for you soon. Mycroft thinks you are "heroick" btw!

SPOILER

[(Anonymous)]

I'VE GOT IT!






THE SHERLOCK THAT FELL OFF THE ROOF WAS A BASKERVILLE CLONE!

THEY RUSHED HIM INSIDE BEFORE IT GOT TOO DARK AND JOHN WOULD SEE HIM GLOWING!

Re: SPOILER

[meredydd.livejournal.com]

"So when the Hell did the Glowlock thing start?"

"Well, it was back in January when Anon suggested..."

[(Anonymous)]

WHY IS THIS VID SO FUCKING GOOD? WHY?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAYp8HIfnHs


SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING AND SHIPPY ANGST

[(Anonymous)]

That was quite good, specially the hand thing. ;_;

But the end distracted me. It's not the video creator's fault, I just realized how incredibly puffy Sherlock's hair looks in the last shot.