Thanks so much. I'm glad this fill has met your expectations so far. There's always a measure of uncertainty involved in filling prompts, but with non-con it can be even more of a shot in the dark, since it's sometimes unclear what tone or level of graphicness the prompter would prefer.

I don't think I could've written this without the lead-up. I figured that I had to keep them in character to keep the rape from seeming random and cheap. And I kind of think it makes John's betrayal all the more deep to have him in character.

There's a dark side to John in canon: he's jealous, he bottles up his emotions, and he suppresses parts of himself that he's not comfortable acknowledging (namely his sexuality). He's also got a bit of a drinking problem and alcohol tends to bring out his nasty side. My goal was to build off of those traits — to push them to their limit.

John hasn't yet realized the full gravity of what he's done. John had himself convinced, in the heat of the moment, that Sherlock's objections were based on a fear of wrecking his impending marriage. That if John penetrated him fully, they'd be having "proper" sex, and that would count as cheating. And so all the creepy stuff John says is him rationalizing what he's doing by trying to alleviate that imagined fear.

I do worry that I overeroticized the rape scene. But it's written from John's perspective, and all the sexual activity up until John crossing that moral event horizon is shamelessly smutty, so I figured it would've been jarring to suddenly switch to Ikea porn.

Also, when I say I considered "re-purposing" this fill, I don't mean that I would've posted it here and hoped you would still enjoy it despite the non-adherance to your prompt. I mean I would've posted it elsewhere and left you a note saying I'd decided not to take on this prompt after all.

Anyway, I'll try to have the next part up soon, but I'm going through some hectic stuff IRL, so it might take a bit longer.