sherlockbbc_fic | Prompting Part XXXIV

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Prompting Part XXXIV

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MEME LINKS
Pinboard Archive - Delicious Archive - Guide to the Archive
Filled Prompts Posts: Parts 1-23 - Parts 24+ - Spoiler Free
The Glorious FAQ - Page-A-Mod

Flat View of This Page - Newest Page in Flatview - Newest Page of the Meme

Love Post - Chatter Post - Searching Post
Concrit Post - Story Announcement Post - Orphan Post
Spoiler Free Prompt Post - Overflow Post

Links to previous prompting parts

OTHER LINKS AND AFFILIATES

sherlock_rant: A place to rant about or discuss anything with few to no restrictions.

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sherlockcrit: A multi-fandom betaing/concrit community, with a focus on BBC Sherlock.

sherlockbbc: A community dedicated to the BBC adaptation of Sherlock Holmes.
Useful resources for Sherlock and LiveJournal.
Sherlock screencaps.

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John and Lestrade knew each other before they met the Holmes brothers.

They both used to work in the same strip club to pay for expenses not covered by their scholarships.

They were even lovers for a while, before deciding they worked better as friends.

Now the two friends are helping each other to snag the Holmes Brother of their dreams.

Which may take a while, because for all their intellect, the Holmes boys are notoriously thick when it comes to matters of the heart.

“John Watson? It is! John Watson, as I live and breathe, how’ve you been, mate?” Lestrade had stopped rather abruptly in his description of the latest serial suicide when he spotted Sherlock’s companion.

“Greg?” John replied, sounding equally surprised and pleased. He limped over to Lestrade and they exchanged a brief, friendly kiss. Sherlock stared at them in shock.

“I’ve been, well,” John gestured to his cane. “I’ve seen better days.”

Lestrade snorted. “I can’t imagine a little thing like being shot would slow you down too much. I can’t believe it’s you, what are the odds?”

“Look at you though,” John said, sounding rather proud. “Detective Inspector Lestrade. Congratulations mate.”

“Oh, no,” Lestrade said modestly. “I’ve been sitting at home giving out parking tickets while you’ve been overseas getting shot at for Queen and Country.”

“I take it you two know each other, then?” Sherlock said, still sounding slightly dazed.

“Yeah, we worked together while we were going through university,” Lestrade explained. “But we lost contact after John went in the army.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” John said awkwardly. 
“No, it’s fine,” Lestrade. “We just drifted apart. It happens. And here we are again.”

“And you... dated?” Sherlock confirmed.

John grinned fondly at Lestrade. “Yeah, for a time. Decided we were better off as friends.”

“The sex was phenomenal though,” Lestrade said, enjoying the way Sherlock’s features froze. John laughed and punched Lestrade on the arm.

*

Lestrade and John met up for a beer a few nights after the serial suicide case.

“So what’s going on with you now?” John asked. “Sherlock said you’re married?”

“Mm,” Lestrade said. “Not so much. Getting a divorce soon.” 
“That’s a shame,” John said sympathetically.

“And you? Anyone special in your life?”

“Nah,” John said. “Never felt right dating someone while I was in the army.”

“Ah well, you’re out now,” Lestrade said. “We’ll have to go on the pull together one day.”

*

Between beer, coffee, sandwiches and tea, John and Lestrade managed to see quite a bit of each other outside of work. Both were surprised and delighted to find that the spark that had made them such good friends in their youth was still there, and they easily fell back into each other’s lives.

“Do you ever look at Sherlock and feel the urge to just push him against the wall and kiss him until he shuts up?” John said after a long day cooped up with Sherlock. Lestrade laughed.

“No, I can honestly say I’ve never had that urge,” Lestrade said.  “Just me then, thought as much.”

*

During the next case Lestrade had to call Sherlock in for, he kept a close eye on Sherlock and John’s interactions, pleased for his friend when he saw the way Sherlock lit up in response to John’s praise, and stood closely to him, touching him freely, if quite innocently. Lestrade decided to see if he could direct the detective’s thoughts somewhere a little more lascivious.

“They’re a bit different from the ones we used to wear, eh?” Lestrade said, gesturing to one of the police constable’s uniform. John chuckled.
 “I’ll bet,” John said. “They certainly look sturdier.”

“You two were never in the police service together,” Sherlock said, frowning, upset as he always was when presented with new information that disagreed with his previous findings.

“No,” Lestrade said casually. “We used to work in a strip club. It’s where we met.”

Sherlock stiffened, glancing frantically between Lestrade and John, clearly struggling to process this new information.

“We’d do themed shows,” Lestrade added helpfully. “Police, fireman, navy, that sort of thing.”

“Mm, bit of a surprise the first time I wore my uniform and discovered it took more than five seconds to get out of,” John said. “I’d never appreciated velcro more.”

“Still, I don’t miss finding glitter everywhere,” Lestrade said.

“And that oil could be a bitch to get out of underwear,” John said.

Sherlock continued to stare blankly at John, mouth slightly open, as John and Lestrade turned back to discussing the case.

*

“Do you ever look at Mycroft and feel the urge to rip him out of those posh suits?” Lestrade said one night after an encounter with Mycroft he had found particularly sexually charged. John choked slightly on his beer.

“Christ, no,” John said. “I take it you do?”  “He just always looks so proper,” Lestrade said. “Makes me want to corrupt him, properly, possibly in the back seat of his ridiculous cars or maybe in an alleyway somewhere, I haven’t decided yet.”
 “But you’ve given it some thought?” John said.

“Some days my job is filled with long boring hours of paperwork. It’s either that or go slowly mad.”

*

“So how’s it going with Sherlock?” Lestrade asked, unwrapping his store bought sandwich and handing John half.  “It’s not,” John said sourly. “I can’t work out how he hasn’t gotten the message yet. I mean, there’s only so many times I can lick my lips in a conversation. I’m surprised someone hasn’t bought me a chap stick yet.”

“They’re a bit slow on the uptake, the Holmes brothers,” Lestrade mused idly.

“If by that you mean bloody thick, then yes, I quite agree,” John said. “Things not going well with Mycroft, then, I take it?”  “Not going at all,” Lestrade said. “I don’t think we’re even facing the same direction.”

John and Lestrade sat in silence, chewing slowly on their slightly soggy sandwiches.

“Next time I see him,” John said thoughtfully. “Maybe I should mention you, and see how Mycroft reacts.”

“Yeah?” Lestrade said.  “It’s worth a shot.”

*

Mycroft had once again kidnapped John in the name of brotherly love, and they spent a pleasant fifteen or so minutes sniping back and forth. Once the business portion of the meeting was over, John relaxed his stance, and commented as casually as he could,

“Lestrade’s looking fit at the moment, isn’t he? I mean, he was a looker when we were young, but he’s seems to have gotten sexier and sexier over the years.”

Mycroft’s eyebrow’s narrowed slightly, and John could have sworn his pupil’s dilated. Perhaps there was hope here after all? John certainly hoped so, not just because he wanted his friend to be happy, but also because it would be nice to have a friend to bitch to about Holmes men if he and Sherlock ever worked things out.

*

“Mycroft definitely responded when I mentioned how gorgeous you are,” John said triumphantly. “I mean, it was all those tiny twitches and fractional movements he limits himself to, but I would estimate the reaction was 15% curious, 60% lustful, and 25% jealousy. I think you’re onto something there.”

“Cheers, mate,” Lestrade said. He took a thoughtful sip of tea. “I wonder if jealousy is the key here?”

*

“Good lord John has a great arse,” Lestrade said to Sherlock as John crouched over a corpse, one day. “I have some very fond memories of that arse.”

Sherlock arched an eyebrow at Lestrade before turning back to inspecting the corpse.

*

“You know, I somehow managed to forget just how flexible Greg can be,” John said, licking his lips and winking at Mycroft, after a fairly standard kidnap and conversation session. “You should have seen him yesterday, my god.”

Mycroft tightened his hand slightly around the handle of his umbrella, but simply said, “Good day, Doctor Watson. My assistant will show you out.”

*
 “Anything?” John asked. Lestrade shook his head. John groaned. “Same.”

*

“I’m glad he still has strong thighs,” Lestrade commented to Sherlock as they watched John launch himself at a suspect. “The world wouldn’t be quite the same without a John Watson with wonder thighs in it. Made him a fantastic dancer of course, but it was through more intimate experiences that I truly learnt the value of those thighs.”

Sherlock blinked at Lestrade, shook his head and jogged over to John and the thoroughly apprehended suspect.

*

“Lestrade was leaning against a telegraph pole the other day and Christ that took me back,” John said, sipping his tea casually. Mycroft put his cup down deliberately. “I wonder where you can buy tear-off sequin shorts these days.”

Myrcroft didn’t have a chance to answer, as Sherlock stormed back in to the lounge, resuming a rant with great enthusiasm.

*

“Still nothing?” Lestrade said in frustration. “How can there still be nothing?”

“Because for all their supposed brilliance,” John said. “These men are utterly clueless when it comes to love.”

“Love, eh?” Lestrade said. “Getting serious is it, then?”

John groaned. “He’s totally mad, completely impossible, and utterly fantastic.”

Lestrade patted his back sympathetically, looking thoughtful.

*

To say that Sherlock was taken aback when, at the next crime scene not long after John had wandered over to do some doctoring on a victim, Lestrade started describing, in great detail, some incredibly depraved sexual acts he would enjoy exploring with John, was an understatement. Once Sherlock had processed what exactly Lestrade was talking about, his face hardened and he marched over to John, grabbing his arm and dragging him back to Lestrade. Sherlock grasped John’s shoulders firmly, shot a dirty look at Lestrade, growling, “He’s mine. You had your chance, back off,” before kissing John possessively and pulling him away from the crime scene towards the nearest taxi. John glanced over his shoulder at Lestrade, grinning and giving him a thumbs up.

“For someone who’s spent the last few weeks expressing their wonder over the desirable attributes of Doctor Watson, you don’t seem terribly upset that he’s just left with Sherlock.”

Lestrade looked behind him in surprise, wondering how long Mycroft had been there. He couldn’t bring himself to worry, though, as he was so happy for his friend’s success and also fairly certain there had been more than a few notes of jealousy in Mycroft’s reprimand. So he simply grabbed Mycroft’s tie, and pulled him down for a kiss.

*

“Sherlock’s worse than ever,” John said. “No sense of personal space, bloody possessive, and seems to treat everything from ‘cuppa tea?’ to ‘why the hell is there a severed foot in the crisper?’ as a potential come on. How ‘bout yours?”

“Taken to kidnapping me several times a week and insists on proper dates a restaurants where the meals cost more than my suits.” Lestrade said.

“They’re sort of amazing, aren’t they?”

Nicely done, with a good lot of giggle moments.

Haha, thanks, glad you enjoyed it :)

Nicely done, with a good lot of giggle moments.

May be a double up comment, my page crashed.

Great job! I really enjoyed this.

Thank you!

*giggles* YES! Thanks for the fill.

:D Glad you enjoyed it!

Nice job! This had the right funny moments and really pulled me in.

Thanks! Glad you like it!

I loved it :-D very amusing

Hehe, thank you!

“Good lord John has a great arse,” Lestrade said to Sherlock as John crouched over a corpse, one day. “I have some very fond memories of that arse.”

I love Greg's subtlety. XD XD XD

Haha, unfortunately he may have been a bit too subtle, but they got there in the end ;)

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