sherlockbbc_fic | Overflow Post II

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John looked mildly offended. "You do realize I'm older than you?"

"Boring! Everyone can get old. It's what in here," Jim flicked his forefinger and pointed it to his own head, "that counts."

"Supposing you get what you want from Sherlock, what are you going to do with him?" John asked, ignoring Jim's remark mostly out of reflex (one didn't simply bunk up with Sherlock Holmes for almost a year and came out a more sensitive person).

Jim laughed incredulously, "Oh Johnny, surely by now you know that I have gotten him. I have been doing things to him. Things that he likes."

"God," John looked like he was going to be sick, "You sick, twisted bastard. I'm not even going to ask when you---Did he even---was it even mutual? Did he give his consent?"

By then Jim could feel something was off, but impatient as he was, all he wanted to do was getting to 'main course'.

"He was certainly enthusiastic," he shrugged, silently wondering why his answer only seemed to incense the doctor even further. Ah the woes of the ordinaries. Sometimes they were just so hard to understand.

"I told Sherlock once that the two of you would be very happy together," John jutted a finger at him, losing his cool, "It has something to do with the fact that your combined mental age of twelve. All the 'oh I am so clever, nothing else matters' attitude. Evidently you are just the kind of thrill he needs, just the right mix of cleverness and danger like 'that woman', but I took it back, I took it all back. You said you loved Sherlock. Well here's a tip, when you love someone, you don't fucking tear his life apart."

Jim opened his mouth, but was quickly silenced again as John continued his rant (one didn't simply spend most of his time with Sherlock Holmes and not learn a thing or two about throwing a temper tantrum).

"These last few days Sherlock has been so distraught, he wasn't thinking straight. He thinks he is so clever he can hide it from me, but I saw it. I saw all the things he was trying to hide. I saw his pain. And help me God, I'll sooner die than leaving this sodding place without settling this matter with you."

"I'm afraid I'm not following this conversation, John."

"Let's make it simple for you, leave Sherlock Bloody Holmes alone or I will fucking skin you." John didn't even seem to notice Jim's mystified expression and the disappearance of the pet name.

"The fact that you most probably can't do that aside," Skinning people was delicate work, Jim wished people would have stopped regarding it so casually, "You were saying things about love?"

"Don't you even start about love! Sherlock is inexperienced, a carved love message on a sodding apple might have been enough to impress him but you can't fool me. That wasn't even fine carving, the heart shape was hardly legible."

The heart shape was hardly legible.

The heart shape was hardly legible.

The fucking heart shape was hardly legible.

Jim Moriarty had never been so humiliated in his life.

"Did it occur in your inferior mind that the heart shape was quote-hardly legible-unquote because IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE A HEART AT THE FIRST PLACE?!"

John took a step back as Jim suddenly rose and grabbed the lapels of his jacket, turning their position around so quickly when John regained his senses, he was already hovering dangerously on the edge of the rooftop.

"How dare you assume that me, the superior mind, would stoop so low to even play with the idea of love? Such feeble, fleeting, grubby sentiment---"

"John!"

Both men stopped moving. The voice sounded far away, from the other side of the door, which was apparently locked. The doorknob shook vehemently with each push from the inside.

"John Watson, I know you're there!" Called the baritone voice again, positively furious, "When I get to you, you'd better have an good explanation as to why are you talking about love, heart and sentiment with Jim Moriarty!"

END

I'm not usually one for crack, but this was hilarious!

The fucking heart shape was hardly legible.

And bizarrely in character too.

Well done!

Thank you so much! I write crack to ease the 'feels' after seeing sherlock s3 spoilers :D

Overflow Post II

Fill for Prompt: IOU (2/2)

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