January 29th
(19:35)
If brother has green ladder
arrest brother.
SH

(19:48)
WHAT? WHO’S THIS?

(19:49)
Seriously Lestrade, if you think
this immature trick will work
more than once, you are greatly
mistaken. I don’t have time for
this.
SH

(19:53)
SERIOUSLY, WHO ARE YOU
AND WHY ARE YOU TEXTING
ME?

(19:53)
I despise you.
SH

(20:32)
UNSUBSCRIBE!!!


January 30th
(20:02)
Spoke to Jane. Keith still hasn’t
been arrested. Do you need Jaws
of Life to extract your head from
your arse?
SH

(20:52)
ARE YOU ACTUALLY A REAL
PERSON, OR ARE YOU JUST
SOME VERY RUDE KIND OF
SPAM?

(21:17)
Apparently I had the wrong
number. This would have
been much less tedious if
you had said so from the start.
SH

(21:20)
YOU’RE KIDDING RIGHT?
WHICH PART OF ‘WHO ARE YOU
AND WHY ARE YOU TEXTING
ME’ MADE YOU BELIEVE YOU
COULD POSSIBILY HAVE THE
RIGHT NUMBER?

(20:21)
A simple ‘you have the wrong
number’ would have sufficed.
SH

(20:24)
YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW THIS!
YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY A POLICE
OFFICER AND I DON’T WANT TO
BE ARRESTED FOR LEADING
YOU ON OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
HAVE A NICE EVENING.

(20:26)
A police officer? Hardly. What
led you to that inaccurate
deduction?
SH

(20:36)
Not answering anymore?
SH

(20:28)
NO. YOU’RE ANNOYING.

(20:29)
Your reasoning process was wrong;
I need to know where you went
wrong.
SH

(20:30)
WHY?

(20:30)
So I can correct you.
SH

(20:33)
I DON’T BELIEVE THIS. WHO ARE
YOU?

(20:33)
Not a police officer.
SH

(20:38)
ALRIGHT, JUST BECAUSE IT WILL
SHUT YOU UP: YOU MENTIONED AN
ARREST, SO YOU’RE A POLICE
OFFICER. HAPPY?

(20:40)
Quite the opposite. You ignored
most of what I said in favour of the
obvious conclusion.
SH

(20:41)
If I were a police officer, would I
have insulted my colleagues in
such a way?
SH

(20:43)
I NEVER SAID YOU WERE A GOOD
POLICE OFFICER.

(20:44)
WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

(20:49)
In a hurry. I've finally been called.
Murder!
SH

(20:53)
I REALLY HOPE YOU MEAN YOU
NEED TO SOLVE A MURDER AND
NOT COMMIT ONE.