Sherlock is bad with emotions. Every time he and John have sex, Sherlock is so overwhelmed, he can't control himself, because... JOHNANDHEARETOGETHERHAVINGSEX,OMG! He screams, and cries, and weeps, and Mrs Hudson, Mrs Turner and her married ones, as well as quite a few of their other neighbours, can hear him. Some think somebody's being murdered and call the police.

Top!John, please. Even better if John is Sherlock's first and only.