John woke to find it was mid-morning. His first awareness was of Sherlock beside him, his hand resting against John’s arm as if reassuring himself of John’s presence. Even as John struggled to full wakefulness he knew that Sherlock’s heat was over. For a first heat it wasn’t unusual that it had been short, only about 12 hours. As the months went by, if Sherlock’s development followed the usual Omega pattern, his heats would gradually extend to as long as three days. But mercifully, this first one had been short.
John watched the slow rise and fall of Sherlock’s chest for a few moments, allowing himself to enjoy the sweet relief that welled up in him at the picture of Sherlock, safe and relaxed after yesterday’s nightmare ordeal.
He wanted nothing more than, after drinking his fill of Sherlock sleeping peacefully, to kiss him awake and make tender love to him for the rest of day, maybe even through the next night as well. But he must not. He must allow Sherlock, when he awoke, the time and space he would need to reflect on his experiences of yesterday. He would feel much differently about everything today, without hormones and wild emotions pulling him in opposing directions. So John would back away now and give him the freedom he needed to adjust to his new identity.
So John rose quietly; he showered and dressed and made his way to the kitchen to make tea, boil eggs and toast bread. Sherlock hadn’t eaten since early the previous day and would need sustenance when he woke up.
John did not wait for long. Within minutes of John plugging in the kettle, Sherlock appeared in the kitchen, his black curls a wild mess and his dressing gown tie trailing behind him.
“John?”
“Yes, right here Sherlock.” John turned from pouring boiling water into the tea pot to smile at him, firmly repressing the jolt of desire that flared in his belly at the sight of him. “You must be hungry,” he said.
“No, I’m not. Why did you leave, John?”
“Oh, you know, just to get going with breakfast and things.” He waved his hand vaguely. “Have a seat anyway and eat something, will you? There’s some of your favourite honey here.” Mrs. Hudson, bless her, had retrieved the shopping that John had dropped on the stairs yesterday and left it on their counter for them.
Sherlock looked confused and anxious. “But I thought we−” he stopped, “I mean…I hoped you might sleep-in with me.”
John sat down at the table. “Sherlock,” he said gently, “You experienced a life-changing event yesterday and it was very emotional for you. We need to think carefully before acting on anything that we may have said or done yesterday.”
Sherlock looked devastated as he sank into the chair across from John. He whispered, “Are you saying that you didn’t mean it when you said you loved me…and wanted me, John?”
“No! God no!” John leaned forward to grip his hands, “That isn’t what I meant at all! I love you very much Sherlock, more than ever, and make no mistake, I want you, badly!” He explained urgently, “It’s just that I think you need some time to figure things out, to get used to how things are different for you now. People often change their minds about important things during a personal crisis−”
Sherlock cut him off to ask incredulously, “You think I’ll change my mind about you?!”
John said softly, “I’m saying emotions are in flux on occasions like what happened yesterday and I want you to feel free to sort through all of them before we decide to change anything about our relationship…”
Sherlock was silent for a long moment studying John, before he agreed slowly, “Alright…if you say so, John.”
“Good.” John smiled again and squeezed Sherlock’s hands before saying, “Have a cup of tea and let’s check the email to see if there are any new cases.”
Fill: The Reason is You, Part 11
John watched the slow rise and fall of Sherlock’s chest for a few moments, allowing himself to enjoy the sweet relief that welled up in him at the picture of Sherlock, safe and relaxed after yesterday’s nightmare ordeal.
He wanted nothing more than, after drinking his fill of Sherlock sleeping peacefully, to kiss him awake and make tender love to him for the rest of day, maybe even through the next night as well. But he must not. He must allow Sherlock, when he awoke, the time and space he would need to reflect on his experiences of yesterday. He would feel much differently about everything today, without hormones and wild emotions pulling him in opposing directions. So John would back away now and give him the freedom he needed to adjust to his new identity.
So John rose quietly; he showered and dressed and made his way to the kitchen to make tea, boil eggs and toast bread. Sherlock hadn’t eaten since early the previous day and would need sustenance when he woke up.
John did not wait for long. Within minutes of John plugging in the kettle, Sherlock appeared in the kitchen, his black curls a wild mess and his dressing gown tie trailing behind him.
“John?”
“Yes, right here Sherlock.” John turned from pouring boiling water into the tea pot to smile at him, firmly repressing the jolt of desire that flared in his belly at the sight of him. “You must be hungry,” he said.
“No, I’m not. Why did you leave, John?”
“Oh, you know, just to get going with breakfast and things.” He waved his hand vaguely. “Have a seat anyway and eat something, will you? There’s some of your favourite honey here.” Mrs. Hudson, bless her, had retrieved the shopping that John had dropped on the stairs yesterday and left it on their counter for them.
Sherlock looked confused and anxious. “But I thought we−” he stopped, “I mean…I hoped you might sleep-in with me.”
John sat down at the table. “Sherlock,” he said gently, “You experienced a life-changing event yesterday and it was very emotional for you. We need to think carefully before acting on anything that we may have said or done yesterday.”
Sherlock looked devastated as he sank into the chair across from John. He whispered, “Are you saying that you didn’t mean it when you said you loved me…and wanted me, John?”
“No! God no!” John leaned forward to grip his hands, “That isn’t what I meant at all! I love you very much Sherlock, more than ever, and make no mistake, I want you, badly!” He explained urgently, “It’s just that I think you need some time to figure things out, to get used to how things are different for you now. People often change their minds about important things during a personal crisis−”
Sherlock cut him off to ask incredulously, “You think I’ll change my mind about you?!”
John said softly, “I’m saying emotions are in flux on occasions like what happened yesterday and I want you to feel free to sort through all of them before we decide to change anything about our relationship…”
Sherlock was silent for a long moment studying John, before he agreed slowly, “Alright…if you say so, John.”
“Good.” John smiled again and squeezed Sherlock’s hands before saying, “Have a cup of tea and let’s check the email to see if there are any new cases.”