Sherlock looks up at him then, something indecipherable in his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, John. I should have killed him sooner.”
There’s an icy grip around his heart as John’s mind flashes back to the terrace and Magnussen’s cold, penetrating stare, his fingers that –
“It was me who had the gun in his coat,” he says, swallowing hard. “It wasn’t your responsibility.”
“It was. Oh, it was.”
“I could have shot him myself.”
“You are not a murderer.”
But you are now, John thinks. Like my wife. Like the psychopath Donovan always told me you were.
He lets his eyes roam about the room, looking anywhere but at Sherlock as he tries to get a grip on the well of despair threatening to engulf him. The guard is tapping his foot impatiently.
“I have to go.”
Sherlock fixes him with an intense look. “Denying it happened won’t make it go away.”
“Well, I can try,” John says and practically runs towards the exit.
Re: FILL (2b/4): "The dragons within" (TW: non-con & aftermath)
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, John. I should have killed him sooner.”
There’s an icy grip around his heart as John’s mind flashes back to the terrace and Magnussen’s cold, penetrating stare, his fingers that –
“It was me who had the gun in his coat,” he says, swallowing hard. “It wasn’t your responsibility.”
“It was. Oh, it was.”
“I could have shot him myself.”
“You are not a murderer.”
But you are now, John thinks. Like my wife. Like the psychopath Donovan always told me you were.
He lets his eyes roam about the room, looking anywhere but at Sherlock as he tries to get a grip on the well of despair threatening to engulf him. The guard is tapping his foot impatiently.
“I have to go.”
Sherlock fixes him with an intense look. “Denying it happened won’t make it go away.”
“Well, I can try,” John says and practically runs towards the exit.