(10:52) (21:52)
Is that your way of saying you
enjoy my virtual company?

(10:53) (21:53)
Something like that.
SH

(10:54) (21:54)
Maybe we're on to something,
maybe that's the way of doing
it.

(10:54) (21:54)
Doing what?
SH

(10:55) (21:55)
Talking to people.

(10:56) (21:56)
I completely agree, but I didn't
think you would.
SH

(10:56) (21:56)
Why not?

(10:57) (21:57)
You have a girlfriend, friends,
people you talk to on a regular
basis and who don't make you
want to hit your head against
the wall.
SH

(10:59) (21:59)
Yeah I know. Maybe I'm a bit
weird.

(11:00) (22:00)
I don’t find you stranger than
usual.
SH

(11:03) (22:03)
It’s just…I’m in New Zealand
with my girlfriend, it’s our first
trip together, and it was
supposed to be brilliant.

(11:03) (22:03)
It’s not?
SH

(11:04) (22:04)
It’s fine. But that’s the problem:
it’s just fine.

(11:06) (22:06)
I don’t think I understand.
SH

(11:08) (22:08)
I can’t talk about this while
she’s in the room with me.

(11:09) (22:09)
Oh. Ok. I didn’t know you were
on your trip, you can text me
when you’re back in London.
SH

(11:10) (22:10)
No, wait. I’ll be right back.

(11:21) (22:21)
Alright, I escaped to the hotel
bar for a scotch.

(11:22) (22:22)
Sounds like a classy tactical
retreat.
SH

(11:23) (22:23)
Well, I was in the army.

(11:23) (22:23)
Does that mean you wish to
talk about your relationship?
SH

(11:24) (22:24)
If you don’t mind.

(11:25) (22:25)
No, I don’t. Go ahead.
SH

(11:27) (22:27)
I’m not sure I know where
to start.

(11:28) (22:28)
You can start by telling me
what’s the problem with having
a ‘fine’ trip with your girlfriend.
SH

(11:32) (22:32)
I suppose you should know that
she’s my boss. So it was always
a bit strange, we were very
comfortable and domestic very
quickly. We’d leave for work
together, sometimes she’d pack
my lunch, sometimes I would
pack hers. We spend so much
time at work together that it
feels like we never got to do the
dating phase.

(11:37) (22:37)
By going on a trip together, by
spending a lot of time together
away from work, I thought we
would get to have that phase.
You know, the passionate phase,
the thrill of just being together.

(11:38) (22:38)
I suppose that’s not what
happened.
SH

(11:41) (22:41)
No, not at all. It feels like we’ve
been in a relationship for over
50 years. I feel like my parents!
We’ve been dating for a little
over a month, it shouldn’t feel
like 50 years.

(11:42) (22:42)
Isn’t it what people want? Stable
relationships, comfort,
domesticity, things like that.
SH

(11:46) (22:46)
Yes! And it’s what I thought I
wanted. While I was getting
shot at in Afghanistan, I was
often thinking about what my
life would be like once my tour
was over. I was thinking about
finding a nice woman, getting
a nice place, settling down…

(11:48) (22:48)
And now that I can have that…
No, now that I do have that,
I’m not sure I want it anymore.

(11:49) (22:49)
That’s the curse of being human:
never being satisfied.
SH

(11:50) (22:50)
Yeah yeah, Mick Jagger, I know,
but I don’t think that’s it.

(11:50) (22:50)
Who’s Mick Jagger?
SH

(11:52) (22:52)
You can’t be serious. If you are:
haha, very funny. If you’re not,
use that huge brain of yours and
Google it.

(11:58) (22:58)
It’s just…so weird to be on that
trip. I thought it was going to be
all heat and passion, I thought
we wouldn’t be able to take our
hands off each other, I thought
being away from work would
spark something, but it didn’t.

(11:59) (22:59)
She folded my socks earlier.
She actually folded my bloody
socks!!!

(12:01) (23:01)
You don’t like people touching
your socks, I can completely
understand. I don’t like it either
when people touch my socks.
SH